


Dirk←→Todd

by alchemise



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Bodyswap, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-23 19:03:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17689106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alchemise/pseuds/alchemise
Summary: "I am not Dirk Gently!"The man standing guard over Todd didn't grant him the courtesy of a reaction.





	Dirk←→Todd

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hlae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hlae/gifts).



Dirk woke feeling like something was very wrong.

Not that feeling like something was very wrong was all that unusual. He often woke feeling that way, knowing that _something_ was off-kilter somewhere and that he needed to do something about it. Todd thought it was the universe's way of calling for help, alerting Dirk to whatever problem he needed to fix next. Dirk didn't particularly like to think that intently about how his powers—or whatever they were—worked, but he couldn't deny that he felt something right at the start of a new case. It never told him where to go or what he needed to do, but he thought it was why he always seemed to know when some random thing was actually a clue to whatever mystery he was supposed to solve.

The only problem was, this time the wrong feeling wasn't about the universe; it was about him. There was something wrong with _him_.

Dirk patted his hands over his face and body. His hands didn't look like his own, and his face felt different. Familiar, but not like it was his own. He jumped up and ran to the nearest mirror.

 _Oh. Well, that explains things,_ he thought.

Looking back at him from the mirror was Todd's face. Todd's face that was on him. Or he was in Todd's face. Or had become Todd somehow. He hoped all this meant that Todd was in Dirk's own body somewhere, maybe also waking up confused and wondering what was wrong with him.

Dirk looked around himself for the first time, now that the whole weird body mystery had been solved. He was in Todd's apartment. Perhaps the reverse was true and Todd was at Dirk's place. Dirk grabbed one of Todd's jackets and a pair of his shoes, and raced out the door to find his friend. And his body. And somehow reverse this mess.

 

* * *

 

"I am _not_ Dirk Gently!"

The man standing guard over Todd didn't grant him the courtesy of a reaction. Todd still hadn't figured out who they were. At first, he figured Blackwing, but those guys always referred to Dirk as Project Icarus or Svlad. These ones only called him "Dirk." They also seemed way less ridiculous and violent than Blackwing tended to be; they were actually kind of _professional_. So some other top secret government agency, most likely, that needed Dirk for some reason that couldn't be good.

Only he wasn't Dirk; they just thought he was.

What with the whole being trapped in Dirk's body thing, which Todd had figured out the first time he'd seem his reflection after these guys had yanked him out of Dirk's apartment and threw him in a very official looking black SUV. They were now in an empty office building, somewhere up high judging by the view Todd could just make out through a window at the end of the room. A room where he was tied to a chair with a very scary looking armed man standing guard over him who hadn't said anything other than, "We have secured Dirk Gently. I repeat, the target is secure," into some hidden communication device a few minutes earlier.

Todd really wished he knew where Dirk was and if he was in Todd's body. It would also be really nice if Dirk had a plan to rescue him, preferably one that got him his own body back.

 

* * *

 

For maybe the first time in his life, Dirk did the obvious, most reasonable thing, given his present circumstances: he asked Farah for help.

Todd hadn't been at Dirk's place, but there had been signs of a struggle. Which was very not good. Dirk had no clue if his in-tune-with-the-universe thing would work right if he was in someone else's body, and nothing in the universe was telling him to go anywhere in particular, so he figured he'd do the normal detective thing and work with his teammate.

Farah took the whole being-in-Todd's-body thing remarkably well. She'd also figured out that he was Dirk within just a few moments of him running up to her. Apparently he ran in a Dirk-like fashion, even in Todd's body.

Farah was off doing proper detective stuff while Dirk looked for any clues outside his apartment building as to Todd's disappearance. He'd gotten bored a while ago and thought Todd's body could use a rest, so was now sitting on the steps and flipping through a real estate booklet, while thinking about finding a new place to live that kidnappers didn't know about.

Farah pulled her car up in front of him and rolled down the window. "I know where Todd is! I found a security camera a few blocks from here they must not have known about, because it still had footage on it of an unmarked government car driving by this morning. I was able to trace…"

Dirk cut her off. "Is he at 1315 Vancouver Avenue, Suite 447?"

She paused for a moment and then admitted, "Yes." She sounded annoyed at having her undoubtedly impressive detective work usurped. "How did you know?"

"This flier has an ad for it for lease. There was a piece of gum stuck between it and another page, and I just got it apart. It's a really nice looking space, but they can't seem to find any takers for it. An office suite staying empty in a bustling business area with no other spaces available seems very government conspiracy-like, don't you think?" Dirk felt like he was still in tune with the universe, after all.

Farah gave him a look. "Just get in the car."

 

* * *

 

In the end, the rescue wasn't much of a rescue. Todd sat tied in his chair, still trying to convince his guard that he wasn't Dirk, when Farah and Todd's body (with presumably Dirk inside) came strolling in. His first thought was that it was really good to see them. His second thought was that they didn't appear to be prisoners.

"Guys? What's going on?"

Dirk answered, through Todd's voice with an English accent. It was highly unnerving. "Well. We switched bodies. But you probably figured that out already."

"Yeah. I got that one. I meant about the men in black and the…" Todd tried to jiggle the zip ties that were keeping him bound to the chair, but he couldn't manage more than the barest wiggle.

Farah turned to a woman they'd walked in with, who looked very serious and very in charge. "Do you mind?" The woman gave a barely perceptible nod to Todd's guard, and then he was finally cut free. Todd stood up and edged closer to his friends.

Dirk continued his explanation. "It turns out that these lovely, scary people were trying to help. Though they maybe could have done so in a less threatening manner?" The woman just stared at him. "Okay, so maybe not. Apparently they learned somehow that there was a danger coming to me and decided that kidnapping was the best course of action. Only I'm guessing the whole body switching might actually have been the danger, in which case, kidnapping you didn't really help matters."

Farah jumped in before Dirk could piss off the mysterious agents any further. "What Dirk is trying to say is that we seem to have allies. Even if they haven't told us their names."

The woman finally spoke, direct and to the point. "That's classified. And the danger isn't gone yet, if you're still trapped in each other's bodies."

Dirk twisted Todd's face into a highly condescending look. "Please. This is just a slight inconvenience. Our cases are usually much more complicated. We'll have it solved in no time."

"It is? They are? We will?" It wasn't that Todd didn't share Dirk's confidence; it was just that being stuck in someone else's body seemed a bit much, all things considered.

"Yes, Todd. I'm sure we'll be back in our proper bodies by the end of the day. Although, until then do you think you could manage a different accent. Your voice in my mouth sounds absurd."

Before Todd could protest, Farah stepped in again. "For now, let's compare notes with our new friends and see if we can uncover how the body-switching happened. Then maybe we can put the two of you back where you belong."

Todd scratched his shoulder absently. It felt decidedly weird to not be in his own body. Everything was slightly off, like all the muscle memory of everyday life was different. Although he couldn't imagine being in Dirk's body would feel comfortable for anyone. Still, there were likely worst people to be stuck in than one's best friend.

"Okay let's do this." Todd tried his best English accent with Dirk's mouth. Dirk cringed in response. Todd forced Dirk's face into the best sarcastic smirk he could manage. Maybe this situation wasn't so terrible after all.


End file.
